So the tiddlers are now four. How on earth do I have two four year olds? More to the point how did I survive the last four years because to be honest some days I have no idea.
When I was pregnant with them I assumed that once twins were past their baby stage it would be no more challenging than having two singletons, but some days I look back and think give me two babies any day even with the endless feeds and the sleepless nights.
Every new stage that we reach I am having to do twice over with two completely different individuals even though I have no clue how to do it. I don't get the opportunity to try it out with one and master it with the next; instead we all bumble along together and there are lots of mistakes and tears along the way (usually mine!). If I am honest I have to admit that I have found this last year the most challenging so far with them and it has very little to do with Teeny; in fact I can hand on heart say that I don't think it would have been any easier without him. The challenge lies in the fact that they have more opinions, ideas and desires of their own than they have ever had before and I have no idea how to balance their expectations with my own.
This year I have lost my temper and shouted more than I should, cried more than I should, beat myself up more than I should and failed more than I should allow myself to, but despite all of that I am still here. I still have a wonderful husband and we love those two little people more than anybody else ever would. They, along with their little brother, are my world they are the reason why, when all I want to do is hide under the covers, I get out of bed and face the day. My family are my reason for being and they make me who I am. Granted I am no domestic goddess and a far from a perfect parent; we live in what I label organised chaos and most some of the time I don't get it right with the children, but they challenge me and I try my hardest to learn from them and to do better next time.
After all nobody is perfect.
I can honestly say that 3 is far harder than I ever expected it to be. People warn you about the terrible twos, but they're nothing compared to having a threenager. And I would imagine having two of them is more than double the trouble.
ReplyDeleteI was discussing the forthcoming year with DH last night, and said that despite not having a job, DH not knowing what he's doing beyond May, and a new baby to contend with; the only thing I was anxious and worried about was whether Jacob's behaviour was going to improve or worsen.
I hope things will get better for both of us...
Thanks for commenting lovely. As terrible as this sounds sometimes it is other peoples terrible threenager (I like that phrase)experiences that keep me going! Hopefully Jacob with rein himself in a little for you soon and give you a break. (I bet he is an angel at school though isn't he?)
DeleteI'll keep my fingers crossed that things work out for you both on the work front so that that doesn't add to your worries.
Big snuggles for Josie.
Uncle Mike says to tell you to stop banging your head against the wall!!!!!!! You are doing great and all this is normal. Of course being a smart -arse he has to finish off with "it will get better after 20 years !!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMichael Clancy, it is a good job you are a few thousand miles away or you would feel my wrath. ;-)
Delete